Whatever Shit happens on the Train, Stays on the Train
by Odnoliub Kitsune
Summary: We all already know this: Deku's a weirdo, Deku's an useless piece of garbage, Deku's a dumbass- Then why the fuck am I letting him drop his head on my shoulder like this? UGH-! Oh, right. I just remembered why. Nevermind. [KatsuDeku/AU/One-Shot]


**So, this is my first attempt at writing something entirely on English, haha. You see, I'm literate Spanish and I'm trying to become an English translator! So first things first, something like this is something that's gotta be done!**

 **If you see any mistake of any type, please, call me on it, I'll fix it as fast as I can!**

 **With that already cleared, please, enjoy.**

 **WARNING:** YAOI (boy x boy), KatsuDeku, QuirklessWorld!AU.

 **DISCLAIMER:** I do not own My Hero Academy. I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I DON'T EVEN OWN THIS BED OR THIS WIFI. AHHH!

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 **Whatever Shit happens on the Train, Stays on the Train**

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Who the fuck are you and why the hell are you reading my mind?

No, wait, don't even bother answering that, I already don't give a fuck.

Just so you know, I'm a genius, so you'll probably feel overwhelmed by all my deep thoughts and such shit you'll go through if you dare to stay here.

So, you're saying you do dare, huh?

Brave enough.

Charming.

Whatever!

My name's Katsuki Bakugō, in case you didn't know that, and I'm 15 years old. I'm currently assisting to U. A. High, one of the fucking best High Schools on Japan, and way yes, I'm very proud of that.

And while I'm very proud of that, I'm also very proud about being the number one boxer of my gym even though I've started with it just some months ago during summer holidays and, generally, yeah. You could say I'm the best in about every little damn thing I do. Even better than the best if we start talking about Chemistry.

You can love me, I love myself too, hah.

The problem here is.

(Yeah, I'm a genius but I've got a problem, shut the fuck up.)

Everyday, I've gotta take the train to go and come home from school and that isn't as bad as you'd think it is, the _bad_ thing about that is the person who does never fail to accompany me.

He's right by my side now, and the very son of a-- is reading all happily a book about fuck-if-I-cared as the train shakes and everybody has to hold onto something not to trip over— Even me, yeah. And he manages to balance himself perfectly on his seat while everybody else (I'm included here, yes) is too busy cursing under their breath at the train tracks to relax.

His name? You don't need to ask for it, it's meaningless.

But if you insist, I'll be the gentleman everybody knows I am (laugh and you're dead) and I'll very kindly tell you his name's Izuku Midoriya.

Aka Deku.

Because he's exactly that. Useless!

Useless piece of whatever shitty dirty bubble gum I'd stepped on just yesterday and has stuck to the sole of my shoe.

That's exactly what he--

"Kacchan?"

And here we go again.

For fuck's sake, I can't believe I'm strained to deal with this. "What?", I reply shortly, not even looking at him.

"You were staring at me", he states softly, looking somehow dumbfounded. And I just gasp with an incredulous expression on my face, and he seems to get what I mean because he chuckles nervously and looks at his feet as he reaches up and scratches his cheek with a finger. "A-Alright, I'm guessing you didn't do it on purpose, then...?"

"Why the _fuck_ would I stare at you on purpose for?"

"Want to talk to me?" And he dares to sound hopeful.

"Not a chance."

"Oh." And now he sounds exactly the opposite, hopeless. "Right, I see. Sorry." And he goes back to read.

And damn! I feel a vein popping on my forehead and I feel forced to look out of the window over Deku's head as I inhale deeply.

This is what I was talking about.

This is exactly it.

I peek at him out of the corner of my eye and I can see the idiot's just pretending to read now. And I know he is _not_ really reading because his fucking bright green eyes are not moving a single inch.

And he looks sad.

Why the goddamnedfuck does he look _so_ sad?

Ugh, right. Fuck if I cared, but-

You see. It's been like this for weeks now!

Everyday, morning or afternoon, while we're at class everything seems to be pretty normal and ok. I ignore the weirdo's existence and mess around with Kirishima or Pikac-- Kaminari, and he keeps being a weirdo with his nerdy weird friends and his disgusting weird stuff far away from me. We get the best rankings at tests and then we (I) yell at each other (yell at Deku and Deku mumbles incoherent words back) and then we're done and that's the end of it. But as soon as we're on this stupidly crowded train and I happen to choose the busiest wagon just so Deku doesn't follow me in, he does it anyways and then he sits or stays by my side and I keep on thinking in a hundred ways to kill him and maybe throw his corpse at some random lake that's nearby while he plays his damn part of the play and so we're here, in a perfectly uncomfortable and _tense_ silence until we get home.

And if that isn't bad enough, I just remembered I didn't tell you--

We're _fucking_ neighbours!

So we've met each other since ugh I can't even remember-- YEARS!

And I've been a bully to him until last year, when both of my parents and Deku's own mother made me sit down with them at our house's table and they gave me the largest lecture nobody's ever given me in my life.

And, you know what? Okay, yeah, maybe's my fault Deku's such a pussy seeing as I'd been his best friend for a long time before I became popular for being a genius and I realized I was totally _wasting_ my time around someone like...

"Kacchan."

This idiot.

"Hm?", I growl this time.

"Are you staring at me or are you just spacing out while you try to dig holes with your eyes on my face?"

"The latter."

"I see."

"No, what-"

He chuckles and I swear I'd have strangled him if the train hadn't stopped in that moment and he hadn't gotten out of it, waiting for me outside. "Come on, Kacchan! Let's go home."

Somebody tell me, please...

How does he dare to talk to me like that when I'm like this all the goddamned time with him!?

"Go home alone, you motherfucker!"

"I can't! I forgot to tell you, but Mom's invited you to come over and have dinner with us! I guess she's even called your mom already..."

"I don't fucking care, make an excuse!"

"Nope, you're coming."

" _Make me_."

Remember when I said he was a weirdo? Well, THIS is part of why I said that for!

He's always lacking self-confidence but then moments like this happen and he even dares to look me in the eyes without being taken aback by the ferocity of my murderous glare.

Has he gone nuts?

Deku meets me on the outside and we start walking home together. Our shadows project on the pavement and a fresh air tousles us.

"My house is on your way, you can't avoid mom", he muses.

"I sure as hell can take the long way home."

"What? You wouldn't do that, you're tired!"

Today Deku's surely feeling too full of himself, huh?

"Says who?", I send him deadly daggers.

"Me."

Fuck it.

"Start running."

"What?"

Fuck him.

"START RUNNING FOR YOUR WORTHLESS LIFE, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING PIECE OF DIRTY UNDERWEAR!"

"AH!", so he does.

And I chase after him.

But didn't I say I'm a genius? Let's recall that and look at me, fooling the imbecile and making him go home without me as I take the long way home, running.

Hey, why wouldn't I take advantage of the situation and make some exercise too, after all.

It doesn't matter if I'm tired, this is nothing I can't take care of.

(And yeah, shut it, I know.)

Next day goes without trouble, and the next, and the next, and then I realize Deku's being way too silent and that that's pretty unusual now taking a look back and remembering he's always been the one talking to me and being ignored as if he didn't exist and never the other way round since we both started attending U. A. High.

So, I get pissed.

"What's wrong with you?", I nearly spit at him one afternoon as we're on our way home on the train. He looks up at me and the sunlight hits his eyes just right and then they're not just green but emerald and-- okay, _concentrate, Bakugō_. "You're being weirder than usual."

"Am I?"

"Damn right, you are." I narrow my eyes at him.

"Uhm...", he nods and then he starts fidgetting on his place, and I'm starting to regret ever asking him what's wrong. "S-Something happened", he finally manages.

 _What a surprise, I couldn't have imagined it_.

Right?

Pft.

"What happened?", I try not to be a complete jerk with him. Not yet.

"Uraraka's confessed to me."

 _Oh_.

"A-And it's the first time a girl's ever confessed to me", he fails at his attempt at not to stutter. His eyes travel back and forth nervously and a shy smile spreads on his parted lips. "I-I don't know how to feel about it."

I avert my eyes and cross my arms over my chest, frowning as I let my eyelids slide down.

"You should feel blessed. For a _gir_ _l_ to _actually_ look at you. Must be a fucking miracle for you, Deku, huh?"

He's been silent for a while now, and I feel (again) strained to look at him as I wait for an answer. He's looking down at his backpack on his lap.

"She's my best friend", he starts again.

"So what?"

"I don't want to fall for my best friend."

I can't believe I'm about to have this kind of clichè conversation with him, voluntarily. What kind of Saint must have crept under my skin for this to happen, I don't know. Where the hell's Deku's super mom when she's needed? Why hasn't she taught this to his son? It's the basics about all that bullshit you all call love! I turn a bit on my seat to be more comfortable and I place my chin on my knee once I've propped up and bent one leg. "There is no rule that states you cannot or must not fall in love for your best friend, fucktard."

His eyes grow wider and he peeks out of the window. I see his cheeks growing in colour.

"B-But I'd rather prefer not to..."

"Why the hell not?"

He mumbles something I don't quite follow and after I've snapped and barked to him "Speak louder!", he accomplishes, quickly and a little less shaky.

"Already been there."

I frown, deeper. I don't like this.

"In love with her?"

"Ah? What? No!"

Okay. This is a wave of relief. What the fuck am I feeling relieved for?!

"Then?", something doesn't seem right here.

"I... I mean I've already been there."

"You've already said that, you scum--"

"In love with my best friend."

And this is something unexpected. I blink at him.

"How many best friends do you have?"

"Two."

"One's the awkward girl and the other?"

"You."

 _Is this for real._

"Shut up, I'm serious."

"Me too."

"Fuck you."

"You could."

AND! Okay, that scalated quickly!

And by the way.

What!?!?

My cheeks burn like if somebody's just started a fire in both of them at the same time for reasons I can't totally understand and I jolt up to my feet rapidly, picking my school bag up as the train starts slowing down. "Don't mess up with me, screwed mouse that's always eaten nothing more than shit!"

(I know, I know, shush, I'm original as fuck.)

"I'm not--..."

But then the doors slide open and I'm out and gone.

Baku _gone_.

Next day, I'm too ill to even think of going to school, U. A. High or not.

Let's say that yesterday with all the hurry I forgot my umbrella on the train, so I ended up running home under the pouring rain and drenched, catching a motherfucking fierceful cold. Almost as fierce as me. _Almost_.

Where did that freakin' downpour come from!?

There's a knocking on my door.

"Come in", I sigh, starting to sit up as I wait for my mother's voice to say something like--

"U-Uhm, hi, Kacchan."

Exactly like that.

No, I mean- not like that.

"What the fuck are you doing here, fucktard?"

Deku steps in closing the door after he's completely inside, and drops his backpack on the floor. Then he walks to my bed and handles me my umbrella.

I try to make it burn in flames with my gaze, murdering it. Maybe make it explode!

It obviously doesn't work.

So I take the damn thing and proceed to throw it carelessly to a corner of my room, where my other two umbrellas are.

"Are you sick?"

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you."

"But your mom's said-"

"You can go home now, to fuck yourself or to fuck that girl."

This comment apparently caught Deku on his bad side, because he got serious and his eyebrows furrowed downwards. "Why are you upset?"

"Why the fuck are you still here?" I counterattack as I lay down again in bed and cover with my blankets, rolling on my side so I'm showing Deku my back. Such a well-educated man. "Out."

"Is it because of-"

"Out."

"It is, rig-"

"Get out."

"Kacchan."

"Deku."

"I really meant it." / "Get the fuck out of here!"

Huh?

I blink and roll on my side just the slightest to take a shocked look at Deku's burning red flustered face. He seems to realize just now what he's said because his hand flies up to cover his mouth and his eyes become as big as plates. I'd laugh in any other circumstances, because in this red state he is right now you can barely see his cute freckles and his eyes look almost as if they were gemstones brought directly from another planet.

I didn't just think that.

"Look, I'm sick."

"You said you weren't-"

"So we'll talk about this tomorrow when I feel better enough to go to school with you so I can torture you all the way there for this stupid prank you think you're pulling on me."

"B-But it wasn't any-"

I pull my sheets aside and move my legs in an attempt to stand up, staring coldly at the green-haired boy all the while. "Get out", I grit through my teeth.

And he seems to finally feel convinced about the hidden menace in my movements, because he excuses himself short after and practically bounces out of my bedroom after picking up his school bag.

Just then I allow myself to let out a heavy sigh and rub my temples, feeling a warm _something_ spreading through my chest as my cheeks grow hotter than they've been all day.

 _Great,_ now I'm even sicker...

(ShutUpShutTheFuckUpSHUTIT!)

"OLD HAG!!" I roar. How sweet of me.

Next morning it turns out to be a sunny one during my travel to U. A. High, and as I'm seeing Deku nowhere to be found on my way there, I relax on my seat and lean against the train's wall closing my eyes. Looks like it will be a peaceful day.

Boy I was wrong.

Merely a few hours later after the start of my school day, Deku approaches the classroom with a note from his mother to our tutor, Aizawa, and I look with interested eyes how he holds up a table above his curly head with far more strength than necessary, making unexpected muscles draw my attention to his body for a moment, and (I kill everyone in the class that's observing exactly that too, mentally of course) he places it with a bump besides mine.

I frown at him.

And he smiles sheepishly at me.

Where has this dorky boy learnt to be so disarming?

Or am I getting soft?

"You may share your class material with Midoriya for today, Bakugō. I hope you don't mind." He's giving me that bones-freezing glare and I swallow, shaking my head briefly. "That's good to know", the jerk-teacher says with an unnatural smile plastered on his lips.

And then he returns to whatever it was he was explaining us until then.

And my eyes drift again towards Deku. Fuming, this time.

"A-Ahm, someone assaulted me on my way home yesterday. I was at the doctor..."

My eyes widden. Yesterday... He does not live that far away from me for someone to be able to assault him. But then again, he looks so _helpless_ sometimes...

"Level of damage?"

"Barely existent."

"Has the enemy been taken down?"

At this, a wicked smirk brightens up Deku's face.

"Totally."

I nod, thoughtfully, and pretend to go back to pay attention to class although I'm still thinking, trying to ignore the fact that my classmate's smirk is sexier than-- _Katsuki Bakugō, e_ _nough is enough!_ I don't realize that my old childhood playmate and me have just had one of those _moments_ , when something from the past comes without being called to life.

He does, though.

We used to talk like that when we played at heroes and villains at the park.

Deku's got a vandage on his right hand and a black eye on his left side of the face. That must mean he must have done a great effort to defend himself this time.

"Student Bakugō, what's the answer for this exercise?"

"It's..." I catch up with it quickly, almost as if I've never been spacing out, and from the corner of my eye I meet Deku's surprisingly intense glare while the answer for the exercise spits out of my mouth on its own account.

The rest of the day goes on without any more affairs and once I hop on the train and take a free seat on a corner and Deku happens to sit right at my side, I remember what I've been avoiding to think all day long... among _other_ things.

"Explain yourself." I demand without losing a second of my beloved time. "And do it fast and clear."

The boy beside me nods as if he's been waiting for me to say that, and starts talking. And even before he pronnounces his first damned word my heart's already quickening its pace. Fuck, I'm so screwed.

It's kind of overwhelming how much can things change in the short span of a couple of days, or one week.

"First of all, don't throw yourself over me to punch me for what I'm going to say, o-okay?" I narrow my eyes but give a short nod at him nonetheless, so he gains some confidence and keeps talking. "It doesn't make all that much sense, but-- I've liked you for a long time now, Kacchan. Since we were kids, I'd say." I see him playing with his fingers on his shirt, but his eyes are still firmly locked on mine. "And I've still liked you even when you were nothing more than a bully with me, because I've always looked up to you and what I used to feel as admiration ended up morphing into love somehow, so-- So..." He takes a deep breath, and my own fingers tingle, and I lick my lips and I sense his gaze following the movement for a moment, shamelessly. "Let me correct myself and say it all in short now. I really, really... Think I love you, Kacchan."

See? Even Deku loves me.

"Whatever shit happens on the train, stays on the train." Words are faster than my voice and they almost get tangled among themselves. Almost. But I think I've been clear enough.

Although he seems taken aback by my words.

I let my lips curl up in a playful smirk as I reach with my hand to the back of his neck while he's still processing what I just said.

"Just close your fucking eyes, dumbass."

He does, and his whole face is shining like a traffic light, and I lean quickly to crush my lips on his as my heart does a dangerous flip that translates as _finally_ on my mind and I feel my own face lit up. And my fingers pull slightly some incredibly soft hair strands, and his hands finally decide to rest tremulous on my shoulders, holding onto them as Deku leans closer in the kiss and tries to follow my lead with a fervent passion I can't say I hadn't started to expect.

Oh, well.

Two fucking candles kissing sloppily on the last wagon of a train shouldn't be the weirdest thing that planet Earth's ever seen, huh?

That and, remember the problem I mentioned a while ago?

Forget it.

I break the kiss to lick my lips and then to lick the other boy's lips, wet and slightly swollen. I rub my thumb on them, slowly.

"About that freaky girl friend of yours", I mutter locking my crimson eyes with his. "Uraraka", he dares to correct me, kind of breathless. I don't care, however. "Tell her you're fucking taken."

With that, Deku grins widely and he's the one cupping my cheeks and leaning in to kiss me, awkward and unexperimentally.

Like the happy faggot he is.

And I don't give a fuck about the saliva that escapes through both our mouths as we're still learning how to do this, in the same way I still don't give a fuck about your name, all for different reasons.

I think I like this whole kissing thing and by the time we exit the train, I'm quite sure I really _really_ like this idiot.

(Although I've always been sure as hell that I don't like you. Get the fuck out of my sight now.)

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THE END.

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 **Ta daaah! Nothing out of the ordinary, yeah? I hope you've liked it, anddd... Yeah, that's pretty much it.**

 **Thanks a lot for reading me! Haha.**

 **Greetings from Jupiter! /Hearts/**


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